A Tale of Trepanation

The hole in my head is beginning to effect me. For a while, the things held in my brain didn’t notice that there was a way out. Not anymore. Now I can feel my thoughts escaping. They’re leaking, flowing out one by one. Some of my memories have left me too. I don’t know why they don’t want to stay in my brain anymore. Didn’t they like it there? I thought I treated them well. Perhaps my brain was too full. That must be why the headaches began. My brain was at capacity and swelling as I put more information into it. My swelling brain was pushing against my skull and forcing the cerebral fluid to be pushed back into my spine. Then my brain was dry and swelling and rubbing on my skull, and it was excruciating. It felt like a thousand knives and ultra bright lights searing in through my eyes. Doctors only wanted to give me pills. They told me there was nothing wrong with my brain. They took x-rays and when they showed them to me it looked normal but I know that they switched them out. They didn’t understand the pain I was in. Those headaches. I had to take things into my own hands. I bought a brand new power drill with new sharp bits. I sterilized everything. The drill, the bits, the walls and floors, the sink, and the mirror. I put down a sheet of plastic, which I had also sterilized, to catch whatever came out. I didn’t care about the consequences. If it worked, I would finally get relief. If it didn’t and I went too deep, I would die. At that point, death was better than the pain. I took the battery off of the charger and snapped it into the drill. I got into the shower and shaved my head. When I was finished, I grabbed a fresh clean towel and dried myself. I stayed naked. If anything was going to come out of my head, I didn’t want it staining my clothes. I stood in front of the sink and stared into the mirror as I picked up the drill and squeezed the trigger. That glorious high pitched whine of relief. I aimed the bit at the point where the headache was the worst. I took a deep breath, squeezed the trigger more, and began pressing it into my head. It only hurt for a second. As soon as it was through the skin it didn’t hurt at all. The vibration as the drill was eating through my skull was invigorating. I knew I was almost done. Then the resistance gave way and I pulled the drill out. I heard a thud and all went black. When I woke up, the pain was gone. The pain that had tormented me for three years was gone. For that, I’m glad that I went through with it. But now, I’m not so sure. I fear that all of my thoughts and memories will escape and never come back. I can feel them leaving. Now the doctors want to lock me away. They think I’m a danger to myself because of what I did. Maybe they can help trap my thoughts and memories and put them back into my brain. Maybe.